GAMBATTE



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I'm left with one more physics paper 1 on Monday and I'm done with Prelims. Seriously, I still can't believe Prelims is ending already.

Looking back, I guess this is the biggest hurdle ever, till this very day of my life. I've used up so much energy, time, effort, determination, tears to adapt to the change in JC and for every single major exam I have to go through, I really wonder if I've sufficient energy and determination to pull through A's, confidence to do all the papers, and time to get myself feel prepared. It's not only putting my discipline, physical abilities, emotional struggle on a test, but also spiritually. Probably, this is the very first time I felt defeated, and I really need God for the strength I have within me is drying up.

Because after taking most of the papers, I am feeling even worse now. Maybe to many people, it is definitely better than the past, but to me, I felt that it's not my best and it may be even worse. I really don't know how long can I hang on.... The thought of U-turning back is really scary, and the thought that I took A's but did so horribly is even worse!

I always cheered myself by looking back at sec 2 when I really studied and memorized (like everyday) my hatest subject - Geography just to make sure I can overcome this subject. And I did it! Look back at Promos last year, I was so scared and worried I can't be promoted and thus I make myself study in school from 730am to evening. And I did it! Now, it's not whether I can do it, but I must do it! But how about this time?

I'm always constantly asking myself : Do I work better under immense stress?

I don't want to be beaten down, but I'm not strong enough.
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