There's so many things I wanted to update, but since my internet was down for quite afew days. I forgot what I wanna post already and I've no motivation to do so either. (:

Boys Over Flowers is awesome (: Both Korean & Japanese, urrr and Taiwan Season 1.

I'm tired now /:
Busy Holiday Here I Come..
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Am I losing things I used to hold on dearly?
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Today was rather interesting!
I managed to sleep till 650am before heading to school! I had my 7 hours of sleeep!
I was so nervous before assembly, and before I realised, I've said finish my announcement on stage. It's really awesome, and fun. Yes I'm easily amused by new experiences. Oh sorry Terence for hearing me practicing over and over again and having to bear with my nonsense just because I'm nervous.
Had only 3 lessons for the day.
Prepared for the official launching of the school's Fruit & Herb Garden!
It's really fun trying to promote the drinks (we made it!!!), going around the school and staff room to give small souvenirs (it's shocking how enthusiastic some teachers are)! It's a great experience (:

Oh no, I realised I've too many things, I can't complete them by tomorrow. /:

Am I not convinced? For many things I'm so ignorant, to believe what I want to believe and not what reality is.
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I think I over strained my back AGAIN. It's hurting so badly today. Worse still, headache got to hit me the whole of today and stomach isn't cooperating either. Losing my appetite, unable to finish my food, feeling abnormally bloated, and also wanting to puke. Geez, it's always like that when I'm feeling down / stressed / just not right. Sigh.

Oh something amusing, I was complaining to Janice about the terrible horrible vegetable headache, and I said, ' I think it is the bangs, I need to cut it off!' She added on, 'too heavy uh?' or 'it bangs my head.' Geez I can't remember which, but well I thought it's funny (: Oh I really trimmed my fringe! HAHA (:

I have been thinking much these few days & wondered a lot. I mean there're endless things to think, to imagine, to consider, to explore, but I think the best thing was the time spend with myself, listening to the music and just wander around in my own imagination, it's quite sweet (:
I may not be able to come up with any conclusion, but definitely I managed to clear some doubts with myself, & simply find reasons for me to smile.

There's no reason to hate someone, but there's a reason to love & appreciate the person more, because if it's not for each person who entered into my life, I won't be who I am today. Right? (: Something I hope I can learn.

I should put aside 'I' and think more for 'others'.
I know what a big difference from the previous previous post, but I can't always wish for things to go my way. & being sad here won't change anything because who really can understand the struggles I am having with myself, who can really see how hard I'm fighting with my own feelings?

You can say that I'm just trying to convince/decieve myself. I may not succeed but at least I tried (:
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1. Put your iTunes/Napster/Zune Player/WinAmp/etc on shuffle.

2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!

Q1)What do you think about yourself?

Save Me by Stacie Orrico [does that mean I'm insane or something?]

Q2)Will you get married?

Are You Happy Now by Mitchelle Branch [Sounds like I'm unwilling, hah]

Q3)How will you die?

Knocking On heaven's Door by Avril Lavigne [That will be quite awesome]

Q4)Anyone have a crush on you?

Straitjacket Feeling by All American Rejects [based on lyrics, the person gave up? lol.]

Q5)Favorite Things to do

Butterfly Kiss by Westlife [Don't mind, but not when they appear in my stomach]

Q6)Love your friends?

Hero by Mariah Carey [Well, treat them like heroes]

Q7)Why are you doing this quiz?

Kids Of The Future by Jonas Brothers [To be kids of future? maybe staying young forever?]

Q8)Any idea what's going to happen tomorrow?

She's No You by Jesse McCartney [That I remain unique as ever]

Q9)Where you wanna go tomorrow?

One Man Show by Jonas Brothers [urm, not really. Am I that brave?]

Q10)If your friend say he/she love you,what will be your reaction?

The Extra Mile by Laura Pausini [depends on the person what, lol.]

Q11)If your friend say he/she hate you,what will be your reaction?

Who Knows by Avril Lavigne [oops, anything can happen (:]

Q12)What is the funniest thing you had heard or experience in your life?

Miss Independent by Kelly Clarkson [not very funny]

Q13)Do you have a crush on someone?

I'll Be There For You by Bon Jovi [urrrr, if i have, i'll be there for the person.]

Q14)Are you metally disorder?

Shooting Star by Boyzone [well, i guess maybe alittle, since the answer doesn't even answer question]

Q15)How smart are you?

Stuck by Stacie Orrico [not very I guess]

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On a side note, my back is aching terribly /:
Sigh. Shall attempt Complex.
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& I thought I have something that could make me smile.
& I thought it was really sweet.
& I thought I can take it.
& I didn't know all were just my wishful thinking.

When I read what was typed to me, I was speechless, unbelievable yet I was expecting it to come. What irony I know. I behaved like a little kid, trying so hard to deceive myself, trying so hard to run away from the fact that it's gone & it's over.

In the night, when everyone is asleep & the light was switched off, I listened to ipod & stared at the computer blankly till I got tired and fell asleep. Early in the morning, I woke up and started pondering all over again, it was 530am & my mind wasn't even clear. By 7am, I fell back into my dreams and by 840am, I woke up (yes so unusual of me). I started doing stuff, bit by bit, hoping to complete at least some of my work.

I believed I did it, maybe to people it is indeed unproductive, but to me I'm satisfied. (:

If I've a choice, would I still want to know about it, or would I choose not to know? I've no idea.
If you ask me whether I'm still sad, whether I'm still affected, whether I could pick myself up and move on? I'm still sad, I'm still affected but this time I believe I'll be different.

As the cold water runs down my face, I hope it washes away my feelings and those struggles within me.
As the sun shines on me, I wish it brings me back to life, bringing me the hope I needed so badly.
As I lie on my bed and listen to the songs, I can imagine happily-ever-after that could happen only in dreams.

It doesn't matter, does it?

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Why does it always have to hit me so hard?

Oh no.

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I need some sleep (although I had plenty of it already).
Geez, I did nothing much except
-Packing my room
-Attempt Poisson Distribution (gonna ask Joel for help tomorrow)
-Read a little on Economics

The End. Sigh how pathetic!
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Getting Thirstier.

Not a very productive week, but I guess that's not the point of the week.
The only thing is I can't wait for weekends.
Something I'm looking forward to (:
After a talk with Charlotte and Jia Ling on Sunday, I've seen the picture clearer, time for some actions.

Looking into You for direction & purpose.

(: (: (: (: joyful feeling! Crazy needs to buck up, focus!

[currently: nothing to update, on hiatus]
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BAD DAY BAD DAY BAD DAY!!

sigh! /: can't get myself studying again. Blame it on the weather, lol.
oh wells, Crazy will try in th later part of the night.
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