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Holiday is an excuse to slack.
Am having fun browsing the web.

; Slacking since yesterday & can't stop sneezing & I'm having bad headache.
Feeling really awful now! /:
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Spend Quality Time with someone special to you. Eat ice cream together sing songs play cards. Talk deep, get to know what is happening with him/her. Listen well not only to his / her words but to what is unsaid.

Today was Buddy day spend @ Aston and Ben & Jerry's! Awesome food awesome people (the 2 of us) great time spent together! Though good times are always short, but it's fulfilling, just plain talking and eating, a day off from studies and alittle time spent to pamper ourselves (:

Praise someone. Sometimes you can't think of anything good about a certain person. The more that person needs to be praised, and also encouraged. Think hard, be honest and sincere & then give your praise. See what happens.

Though it's not easy, but I still thought hard of who to be praised and encouraged. I do hope you can feel my encouragement sent to you ><

So if one day you recieve something 'random' from me, it's just me trying to make little surprises, hoping to bring joy to you (:
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Make a list of Ten, 10 blessings you got today.

1. Louis helping me to photocopy my Chemistry Experiment 2
2. PE was unexpectedly fun!
3. I ate yummy food, lol.
4. I survived a long day without falling asleep
5. I had someone, Yu Hua, to go home with!
6. A call from Louis, because I had nightmare, again (had another just 2 days ago!)
7. I watched TV today
8. I'm healthy
9. I had sweet replies from yesterday message
10. I quite like studying now (:

11. Tmr's friday!!

'Having an attitude of gratitude is one of the best ways to shoo a bad day away. It reminds us to keep our eyes ever open to the many gifts God continually gives to us!'
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It's consciously in my mind that days & months ahead won't be easy, yet again the anticipation of the result from all the hard work I will be putting in is keeping me moving. Definitely, it is because I started off the year believing it will be an exciting year whereby I will grow spiritually, because it is He who strengthens me, guides me, teaches me, and helps me (: & so, I can't be beaten down, because He will lead me through darkness.

The day didn't start off well, it's the time of the month. Anyway, just as I was reading Physics, I looked at this present given to me last year : Have a wonderful life. & I decided to pick a card out and it says: say I love you in whatever way you can. And I did! It got me thinking, making people happy can make me happy too, and that's how love spreads! (: Doing something different, or to some of you random, can bring about surprises to people and myself. Sweet.

“ Happiness is not something you get but something you do. ”
— Marcelene Cox

“ Life is the first gift, love is the second, and understanding the third ”
— Marge Piercy

Need to have more faith, more love! (: Happy day everyone!
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It's a fight against myself. Inferiority and insecurity have crashed me down. It's really depressing how I have to convince myself every now and then that I can and I have to do it. It seems like I'm on track, but no. The more practices I have, I more strength I need to convince myself that practice more and I will get it, and soon I won't need help so frequently.

Am I encouraging myself or am I in self denial? I really hope those negative feelings will become source of encouragement and soon, I'll be smiling and giving myself a pat, telling myself 'Good Job!'

Keep the spirit up and continue the fight!
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No more excuses to slack;
Time to pull up my sleeves and socks;
Time to take out those books called ten year series or twenty;
Close my eyes, feel the notes;
Pick up my pen and start writing,
Till the night says goodbye.

I never had the right feeling;
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Dance SYF has officially come to an end.
Relief + sad that there isn't dance practices alrdy + a tinge of disappointment.
I'm caught in between the worst (COP) and the best (GWH). So should I be contented or disappointed?

I came to school feeling excited and nervous, hoping for the very best. We had long hours of doing up our hair, putting make up (it was more like art lesson), and finally heading to UCC. At first when we had last practice before we left the school, I was rather worried because we had last minute changes and were still rather uncertain. Seriously, it's the first time I am worried and feeling so insecure.

When we reached UCC, I felt embarrassed because seeing other school's costumes, I will go 'woah, how I wish...' Adding on, hearing stranger saying 'wah superman, batman!' It kinda crashed my confidence. Seeing other school dancers' doing stretching and stuff made me so nervous and inferior actually. The awaiting was torture. Then again, I was glad I requested Hannah and Crystal to pray together, it was awesome!

Finally, after months of practicing and polishing of steps, it's our big day and our time to shine as one team. Though there are still flaws but the feeling of dancing together with them is indescribable! Definitely an enjoyment! It was a short sweet 6min 30sec! When they announced, 'Nanyang Junior College- Silver.' It was silent. I was disappointed. I was trying so hard to be contented, but it's a struggle ):

Carrying higher hopes ends with greater fall.

I felt that we deserve better but after all it's still a Silver, what can I do? Sigh. The journey wasn't smooth nor easy, we faced many struggles but we still managed to overcome as one. Guess that's the different experience, it's no longer revolving only dancing and the rest is settled and well planned by the teachers. I see the dance team grow as one, strongly bonded and really how we support one another, it's something different. The time when I didn't want to join dance yet I ended up in dance. Times when I'm hesitant to be in SYF and yet I still decide to carry on. Times when I feel hopeless and there're people who will be there to give me a push. Times when we gather around just to talk and laugh and not forgetting playing Bridge! Thinking back, I will definitely miss dancing with this group of people. <3

Thank you Ming Sze and Matthew for the roses. Thank you Buddy, Janice, Xinying, Wei Sheng, Pei, Mervis, Renyi, Alvin, Louis, Guang Wen, Charlotte for the messages! Thanks Charlotte for calling (: Love <3

Also, congrats Stnicks for achieving a Gold with Honour for Modern Dance! (:

Tonight, the sky was filled with stars, & that made me alittle happier. (:
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The week has been revolving dance and more dance.

Monday: Dance till 7plus
Tuesday: Get High Session, Dance till 930
Wednesday: Dance till 5plus
Thursday: SYF @ UCC = missing lessons

How about work? It is neglected and thrown aside for the time being.

Feelings: Shagged, tired, in a daze, no voice, muscle ache, sleeping as early as I can. I am as good as a zombie now!

[Life-less & Crazy is feeling lazy]
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Breathing has become a chore.

Am procrastinating again. Where's the hunger for tutorials and notes?
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I survived another dance practice today. I was feeling so tempted to sit aside and rest :/ The flu seemed to have worsened and I'm breathing harder (or am I too conscious about it?). I was super distracted during the service, sigh. All I wanted to do at the moment is rest and sleeep ):
Geez, I hate being in a daze or simply like a dead walking zombie.

On the other hand, yes I got my A for PW! yay.

Sigh sigh sigh, what a moody day. The thought of more things taking place next week is making me nervous, stressed, and just want to bang my head ):

Crazy is not so crazy lately.
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What is your True Fear? Your Result: Disappointment You are a fun-loving, energetic, and cheerful person. You love adrenaline rushes, and going out at night. You constantly have to be having a great time to feel completely happy. Your biggest fear is not having anything to do, or having a huge disappointment/let down in your life. You hate being sad, and if something in your life suddenly went wrong it would be extremely hard for you to deal with. Just remember that everyone has to deal with hard times. Stay strong, and pretty soon your fun, party life will get right back the way it used to be.
Losing Someone
Being Alone
Looked down on
Where Your life is Going
Commitment
Death
What is your True Fear? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

True or not? (:

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After the horrible Friday's parents' meeting, Saturday was a pure dead day where I slack, do work, drink water, having the feeling that I'm going to be sick.

Sunday was relatively fun except that I feel sick - throat felt itchy and dry, blocked nose, hoarse voice (?). And amazingly, there're people counting how many glasses of water I drank, the answer is 3 glasses!! LOL. Sunday's combined fellowship and 2nd service's activity was awesome - Cooking Competition. Great job everyone. As I thought everything is going as planned, I realised I forgot to bring my belt for dance and my dad can't fetch me : O I rushed home, change, tie hair, rush down (by bus) and I make it in time! That's because we don't need to have make up on, phew. Dance rehearsal was as tiring as it can be ): And I reached home at 1030pm, backache and flu are haunting me! I practically didn't sleep the whole night!!!!

Monday, feeling really tired and sick, I'm literally losing my voice now ): So people, don't blame me if i can't reply you! Sorry! Oh then, I was so tired I forgot to bring Econs book ): - skipped lecture. Afterwhich, Buddy's mom and friend brought us (JJXY) to JUMBO! awesome seafooood : O Oh not forgetting Frolicks for dessert. THANKS ALOT BUDDDDDY, though I didn't say, but I felt loved during the lunch! <3

Hope I don't die for trainings. JIA YOU CRAZY! :D
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Parents Meeting wasn't any form of encouragement, instead it's words of distrust that pierced through my heart. No, improvement is just bullshit if it's not up to your standard. Did you know how I felt at that moment? -Heartbroken, you didn't care how hurting it was. All I could do is to keep quiet and keep fidgeting to prevent my tears from flowing. Guess even my tutor was shocked when she asked if I've anything to say (just to defend for myself), and my reply was, 'No.' This was how discouraged I am.

Just finish posting at the GP blog. Time to do other stuff.

P.S. Giving my ears a break - peace.
P.P.S. work : not productive.
P.P.P.S. I'm falling sick.

I'm falling apart. I'm barely breathing. With a broken heart. That's still beating.
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yes, I'm still alive (: am at computer lab now reading GP blog. Haha.

Oh I got Gold for NAPFA! miraculously. Thank God, since I haven't been training for like weeks? So conclusion for NAPFA, all Gold and 1 silver (due to a stupid D).

Then on Monday, Buddy and I went Plaza Sing to buy present and have Ajisen (: Guess what?! We saw Jackie Chan and Daniel Wu. omgzxzxz (: On the other hand, I embarrassed myself for remembering Jia Rong's bday wrongly. Sorry, but hope you liek the chocolates (:

Damn, got back Result Slip, got to show my parents tonight, gonna get another round of scolding D: Haix. There're so many things to show them tonight, sianzxz.

Another thing: SYF in 2 weeks time ): Intense training + stress. *uncertainty too.

I can't wait for weekends!!!!!! BUT, there's Dance rehearsal @ UCC on sunday, 8pm-10pm. Can go bang my head.

Oh no, suddenly I feel so packed with stuff again (it's the feeling....)
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